ROONEY!

Manchester United 6 Fenerbahce 2. The scouse pie eater made a mockery of his doubters(eat your heart out Dhino) with a hattrick at the 'theatre of dreams' that will never be forgotten by the old trafford faithful. While a certain bunch of scouse muppets struggled to overcome a poor Olympiakos side on the other side of the continent, United rolled over their opponents in a manner and swagger reminiscent of the 1999 treble winning side. The fact that much of the first team, Keane, Scholes, Saha and Ronaldo were absent in the United lineup, showed the depth and quality in the squad. It only served to remind certain teams, like "the best team in the world' what's in store when the red devils regain full strength and click into full gear. Henry and Co should be reminded of the 6-1 thrashing just a few seasons ago. A repeat of that thumping isn't a remote possibilty anymore...Haw haw!

Birthday Greetings To The Lord

Hail our mighty 'Lord'.

Hurt

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feeling disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end

you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Lyrics: Trent Reznor
Song: Nine Inch Nails
Album: The Downward Spiral

The Genius Of Dhino

Dhino's second coming at the 'Theatre Of Jokes' ,the SRC, was nothing short of breathtaking. With just his first touch of the ball he drew a massive crowd reaction- unstoppable laughter, as he conjured up skills never before seen in any mortal footballing arena. In one swift motion, he had gotten past not 1,.not 2 ,..but 3 players,...all the while being completely unaware of what he was doing,...now that's class. 'Football thursdays' has found a new star...arise Dhino... football's messiah.

Fuck You Dhino

The Clan and i went along with Dhino to watch 'The Great Challenge', a french movie starring the daredevils from 'Yamakasi' and produced by Luc Besson himself. What we ended up watching turned out to be something so completely fucked, it gave 'AVP' a good run for its money for 'worst movie of the year'stakes. Fuck,...we weren't expecting a classy movie with great acting,...but the least it could do was deliver some great action scenes. What we got was a movie that took it self way too seriously providing zero comedy value,(the absence of comedy was mind boggling considering the nature of the film), and tiresome repetitive action scenes that were mind numbingly dull. The Lord even found time for himself to go and get some nachos in the middle of it to fill his empty stomach....Not too long after, Archangel proceeded to do the same thing. To sum it up, 'The Great Challenge' is an utterly shit film that should have gone straight to video, where it ought to be condemned to lie at the bottom of an entire pile of B-grade Seagal and Van Damme movies, so no unfortunate idiot will ever stumble upon it.

Moral of the story - Never ever follow a recommendation made by Dhino

Conclusion - 'The Great Challenge' is hands down the worst French movie i've ever had the misfortune to watch.

Red Devils 2 Bin Dippers 1

Manchester United outplayed, outfought and swept aside a bunch of scouse cunts(sorry Rooney) with relative ease this morning, as the Bin dippers were taught a lesson in humility. Rio Ferdinand made a glorious return to football, as he marshalled United's dodgy defence with a commanding performance. Partnering Silvestre in the centre, Liverpool's attack was subdued for large periods of the game. This was emphasized by the fact that they did not get their first corner till early in 2nd half. Cisse was doing his best to emulate Inzaghi as he notched up offside after off side,... and was duly substituted late in the 2nd half for Baros. United should have been a few goals up in the first half if not for some great saves by Jerzey Dudek and hard luck.

Ronaldo outclassed the Liverpool defence as they were left floundering at his genius on several occassions. Dudek must have thanked the stars when Ronaldo's drive rebounded off the right post after a mazy run through the middle that cut open the liverpool rear guard like a hot knife through butter. He took turns to torment the Liverpool wing backs Risse and Josemi In the first half, Ronaldo and Wes Brown combined on the right to take the piss out Risse and Kewell( so much for joining a team on the up eh, you Aussie cunt!). The Spanish bull Josemi was made to look like a circus cow as he struggled to contain the portugese wonder boy. That turn right in the center around the 80th minute that left the the spaniard completely baffled,..must have made him wish they had substituted him earlier to prevent the embarrassment.

Liverpool's attack which was as impotent as a castrated dog, could only manage a goal thanks to some genorosity on the part of O'shea( fucking concentrate you irish fuck). it's times like this that scouse faithful must have wished they still had Danny Murphy...Haw Haw! Silvestre celebrated his return to form(which not surprisingly coincided with Ferdinand's return) with 2 goals(both from headers)....bringing back great memories of Pallister at Anfield in 97. The Argentine monster, Heinze playing at leftback tackled viciously at anything that smelled of scouse filth(beware Rooney at training). Luis Garcia, was completely clueless on how to deal with the tough tackling Argentine, as he struggled to get past him even once. On the left,...the lazy Aussie cunt could find no way past Wes Brown who outwitted and outthought him in every duel.

Man U future, Boyan,...Dhino,..if there's one thing you guys need to learn if you haven't yet, is that you write of Manchester United at your own peril, Because the spirit of the Red Devils is immense, as many have discovered to their utter consternation...Haw Haw!

What a night at New Asia. It seemed almost like NTU night,...as almost everyone from or associated with NTU seemed to be there...(ok i admit that's an exaggeration...but there were quite a few regardless) Great music and a good crowd. The Lord was revealed to be a hoax,...to Cheeky atleast as he finally discovered that the Lord didn't exactly burn the dance floor the previous time... Cheeky has the innate ability to realise certain things a bit later than others..especially the obvious... Haw Haw Haw!

Happy Birthday Cheeky

What an accursed month September is....Shanker, Fido Dido, the Lord and Cheeky all born in the same month. Anyway Cheeky, you have finally turned 23. I wonder what that is in 'dog years'. I am sorry i couldn't get you a bone for your birthday.No hard feelings. And YES,...there is such a word as 'idiocracy', as there is also such a word as 'idiocy'...Haw Haw!

Draw...Defeat...Humiliation...The Demise Of The Clan

It was inevitable in the end. The year3s decided not to participate,.and the only year 3s participating were members of the Clan (Archangel 'Gronkjaer',The lord, and me). With just 5 players and no substitutes,...we were severely weakened(none of the year 3 stars were available),..and possibly had the worst squad with no depth whatsoever. We didn't think we would go far,..but we hoped for atleast some decent performances. Ultimately,..even that could be described as over ambitous.

It all started well enough against the year 2 team.. A long ball to Cheeky saw him control, the ball,... turn his marker and unleash a ferocious volley that busted the goal net,leaving the much hyped Mogan'Banks' with not much of a chance. But the year 2 team came back strongly,...and deservedly scored the equaliser in the second half. That seem to dampen the spirit of the Clan. We could count ourselves lucky not to have lost that game, as the year 2 team finished strongly. On hindsight, we should have just gone on the defensive in the second half,...and we could have held on for the victory. After that game, we seemed exhausted and low on confidence.

The next match turned into a nightmare. Everything bad that i imagined could happen,..happened. The match was against a formidable year 4 team(except Ramesh who's year2) We were completely outclassed, out fought,..and constantly pressurised throughout the entire match.By the end of the first half we were already 3 goals down. Our already low confidence was dented immeasurably. Ramesh scored 2 of the 3 goals,..while yours truly scored an own goal...sigh...(misery compounded). The second half saw more goal mouth action(our goal that is)..and it took some great saves from Afzal and luck to prevent the year 4s from adding to their tally. Eventually,...another defensive error resulted in the 4th goal. After that,..we no longer defended! We just went up looking for a consolation. But It never came. Poor teamwork, communication and simple lack of ability saw that we hardly troubled their goalkeeper. We got walloped by a much better team,..but the taste of defeat,..and defeat of such magnitude was hard to swallow,..still is.

We weren't sure after that if we were going to play any more games,...as it depended on other results and other considerations...But the rain came and it made sure we didn't have to worry about that either. The tournament is postponed to Sunday,..but i doubt we will turn up... it would just be a waste of time.

Moral of the story- If you can't form a proper team cause of lack of players , don't send a half fuck team and embarrass yourselves.

Watched 'Man On Fire' the other day with the Clan. A decent movie i would say. Certainly not in the same class as 'Bourne Supremacy'. My brother and sis in-law claim otherwise, and i am pretty baffled myself as to why they think 'Man On Fire' is better.( "..much ,much better" said my sis in-law) . The movie has plenty of stylistic touches that might have worked well for a music video, but seems both distracting and annoying when applied over here. The acting is good, and it's probably the only saving grace, lifting this movie slightly above mediocrity. Denzel Washington, probabaly the best black actor in comtemporary cinema, is commanding in his performance and breezes through the role.(what else could you expect from an Oscar winner) He gives the character a kind of substance and range someone like Will smith can only dream of. This movie is certainly way better compared to his previous stinker 'Out Of Time', which was a complete waste of his talent.Thank God for that.

A Sad Day For Dhino

I was on my comp reading an interesting blog-http://kyeoh928.blogspot.com/ when Dhino came online. He didn't seem to be in the best of moods. He had his TAG-Heur watch stolen. Apparently,..he had it taken off at the men's room at the airport. He left it behind absent mindedly. But it was too late by the time he discovered his folly. It was gone by the time he got back...(now in possession of some thieving cunt) The watch was a gift from his parents, and he's been carrying it since his JC days. Dhino is understandably distraught. Now he has to explain to his parents...(he's expecting the worst reaction from them) Things like that happen to the best of us,..and sometimes even extreme caution isn't sufficient to prevent unfortunate incidents like this. I still remember my stolen wallet and handphone back in December. That was my second stolen handphone in a space of 3 months as well.I was feeling goddamn awful for awhile after that. I hope Dhino recovers from this loss.

Memorial

It was 3 years ago this day that the tragedy occured. I was driving the bloody Recce ( thanks to some malingering bastards) for 40SAR's final local exercise at Lim Chu Kang that day. Plane hijacked by terrorists crashes a spectacular hole in the WTC building. Years have passed, but the gripping images of the dastardly act by terrorist scum that day is still etched firmly in our minds. Not much has changed since... innocent kids massacred in Russia, sharp edged pins placed strategically to puncture footballs at local void decks( and they wonder why we have a piss poor national team), dogs squatting illegally at hall 5, middle aged lady getting stamped by a monstrous cunt for simply telling him to put off his cigarette(i don't know what's worse,..the incident itself or the fact that it took place at a Linkin Park concert).... It's a cruel and sad world we live in.

NEWS FLASH!

Archangel'Gronkjaer' is out of action for a possible period of 2 weeks! Sources say the cause could be a possible ligament tear in the right ankle. This could be massive blow to the Clan which is currently only being represented by 3 members on 'Football thursdays'. The Lord himself who heads the clan could not be reached for comment But sources indicate his last words were something along the lines of "...wadever lah". Doomsayers are insinuating a possible bust up within the ranks. 'Dhino weekly' published an article last week, raising a controvesy regarding a power struggle between the Lord and certain members of the Clan. Do keep yourselves updated on possible developments of this story in the near future.

Singapore 0 Oman 2

What a match! The game hardly got going when Oman hammered in the opening goal in the 3rd minute. A result of some woeful defending. Apparently the English man we had imported is no Tony Adams. I am sure Walter'Sulaiman' would have made a difference to that backline. Or we could import an Italian with an exotic sounding name ending with 'Nesta'. Fucking imports are all fuckin hopeless! Rant over.
The game seemed to be all set for a massive whipping for Singapore. The Lord himself certainly counted on that happening as he had placed bets on Oman, expecting them to breeze to victory by atleast a 3 goal margin. But early signs proved to be a false indicator for what was to come, as Oman struggled to add to the score. Truth be told, Singapore could have easily equalised, if not for some truly "world class" finishing from our strikers. What more could one expect from a strikeforce led by an ex-BPS school team player! Another rant over.
The lord was resigned to losing his bets, as it increasingly became evident that Oman just couldn't finish Singapore off.Then in the 82nd minute, Oman scored again! It was an anxious packed finish to the game as the Lord willed oman on to score that elusive 3rd goal. Oman did seem to have had done enough for a 3rd goal in the dying moments of the game. The striker was clean through from an assist from the right flank. Alas, the linesman, who was obviously some part time relief teacher in some remote village in 'Boyan' land, i suspect, had no fucking clue of the offside rule as he raised his flag. It didn't make much difference though as the striker had put his shot wide anyway. In the end , even the might of the Lord was not sufficient to change the face of destiny as Oman failed to score their 3rd. Despair,..disappointment,...10 dollars down the drain.. Haw Haw Haw!

Hall 1's Newest Resident

Today Hall 1 residence welcomed it's newest occupant...Me!

RIP

Here lies what was formerly known as
Hall 1
Built- Who fuckin cares
Demolished- Dec 30 2004

In a matter of weeks
the unspeakable terror
swept across
and
wiped out all of sanity

The Future Is Rossi

Forget the Portugese wizard,..and i say forget that pie eating scouser...It's a dimunitive 16 yr old italian who promises much for the future. A possible successor to the 'Ginger' prince? Step forward Giuseppe Rossi. Going by the rave reviews this young boy has been getting at United's reserve games recently, it will be no surprise to see this prodigy step into the talented boots of Paul"I don't give a fuck about england" Scholes. Having already scored 4 goals for united,...this skilful italian is a huge prospect. Fuck Arsene Wanker 's French Revolution....Fergie's very own collection of youngters including Howard, McShane, Spector, Bardsley , Pique, Eagles, Ngulula, Martin, Eagles , Blake will lead us once again to the pinnacle of greatness! When the likes of Keane , Giggs, Scholes and gary neville finaly retire,...one can be certain a great group of individuals will be at hand to replace them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH-NEH

Happy 22nd birthday Shanker...my fellow Computing mate.... Don't fuck up Your Computing again! (i know i shouldn't be saying it, doing it for the fourth time myself ..but i will anyway) Let's pass the goddamn subject together! Ofcourse it will piss me off if you manage to clear it this time,..and i don't ! So you fucking better make sure you don't pass without me!

Today's football saw the return of Archangel'Gronkjaer' whose numerous mazy runs spellbound the defences that had to face him...breathtaking stuff i tell you. But an unfortunate return of an old injury meant our star had to retire earlier than usual. This put the task of entertaining squarely on the shoulders of Lord Ragavendra who today revealed himself to be a goalscorer extraordinaire. But none of his goals compared to the final assist for a goal against 'The Chinese' team. He went on a surging run down the left flank leaving 2 players in his wake in audacious fashion(including Archangel's "BEST" friend),..and delivering that killer pass that oozed class of such 'hollywood' magnitude...Football has rarely seen more beautiful moments.

Ballad Of Tom Jones

What did I do wrong?
Oh you nearly drove me cuckoo
Am I really all that bad?
You're worse than Hannibal Lechter, Charlie Manson, Freddie Krueger
Why are we still together?
Oh I can't leave until you're dead
You mean 'til death do us part?
I mean like cyanide, strangulation or an axe to your head
It was lucky for us I turned the radio on
They say that music soothes the savage beast
There was something in that voice that stopped us seeing red
The two of us would surely have ended up dead

[Chorus]

You stopped us from killing each other
Tom Jones, Tom Jones
You'll never know but you saved our lives
Tom Jones, Tom Jones
I could never throw my knickers at you
And I don't come from Wales

So haven't solved our problems
You mean we hate each others guts
I still wanna poison your pizza
And I still wanna cut off your nuts
I phoned the marriage guidance
I tied the phone line round your neck
I'm sick of all this hatred
Well that will be the arsenic making you sick
You were about to drive me over the edge of a cliff
As I tried to jump out I knocked the stereo on
You changed your mind and then slammed on the brakes
It was lucky for us we bought his greatest hits

[Repeat Chorus]

And now the war is over
I've lost the urge to break your neck
I owe my life to What's New Pussycat
Delilah stopped me hating you and wishing you dead
Oh I used to call you satan
And you were Cruella De'Ville
And now you call me your Delilah
And I am not your lucifer
And I am just your pussycat
But just a word of warning now
Just in case we ever get tured of his voice
I know the Mafia, Godzilla, King Kong
And I know an atom that's bomb going for a song

[Repeat Chorus Twice]

Lyrics & Song - Space

ROONEY

A signing that would once again lead Manchester United to the 'Holy Grail' ? Smith, Saha, Rooney and RVN... mouth-watering... NOW WHAT WE NEED IS A GENUINE REPLACEMENT FOR GIGGS AND KEANE! FFS!